listening

Well I don’t do this often but I’ve been blessed and so I would like you to be blessed as well.

I’m listening right now to a friend speak of his testimony of leading worship.

Ryan Matchett is a dear friend who has been speaking a series of worshiping in spirit & truth.

It has provoked thought and prayer and searching God’s word in me and I would hope that it would also do it with more.

He’s drawing to the end of this series but they are all the teaches have all been good and I would encourage anyone that reads this to also listen to that. http://www.rolchurch.ca/toddcast.php

I’m privileged to have opportunity to listen to many gifted and blessed speakers. Right now we have Kenn Parker in our church for a set of meetings that we call our ‘Indoor Camp Meeting’.

Blessed…

I love listening to those that listen to God. As I grow and as God bends and breaks and molds my heart, I am blessed. And I look to these men of God and am honored to know so many of them.

This is all just meant as an encouragement to you.

Listen.

Listen to men and women that love Him.

Our Father, Our eldest brother, the spirit that surrounds… when people love him and come in repentance to him and look not for their own glory but to spread the glory of the Gospel, of the Good News, of the Cross and the saving grace that has come through it they are a blessing to listen to.

Some show and spread that Gospel through their music. Some spread through their word. Some a special few can truly spread it through their actions.

Listen for it…

Live by it…

That the Gospel could shape your mind and your actions and every day is a prayer that is within me.

I don’t know what has happened but The Gospel of Christ has taken over my heart. I know it with such delight and yet I know it not at all.

Listen for it…

It’s everywhere, just listen for it…

You WILL find it.

Later,

Legacy

I’m about to dive into the concept of Legacy.

I have heard so much about leaving a Legacy from preachers of the past and truthfully I’ve always seen it as a negative thing. Not because I actually think that Legacy’s are bad but because I’ve seen men make it into an ego boost.

I am seeing already with only reading one scripture on it that I am wrong and because of the sins of men past it cannot allow me to be lazy or apathetic in what I am passing on to my kids.

I will keep you updated on the progress. But this will be a good one. I’m excited to see what God will bring me to through his word and revelation.

Psalm 78: 1-7

¹ Give ear, O my people, to my teaching;
incline your ears to the words of my mouth!
² I will open my mouth in a parable;
I will utter dark sayings from of old,
³things that we have heard and known,
that our fathers have told us.
⁴We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might,
and the wonders that he has done.

⁵He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children,
⁶that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
⁷so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God,
but keep his commandments;

Later,

You must hate us!

I’ve heard of a video from Pen and Teller…

I haven’t seen this so don’t take what I’m saying as hard fact, but I know some that say they have seen it.

Although I have watched a few other things they’ve done and this would seem to fit with their character.

Anyways the video is supposedly all about how Christianity is fake etc… but at the end of the video Pen, I think, looks at the camera and says something to this extent; “If this is true, if everything that we have heard about a God in heaven and Jesus Christ is true, they you Christians must really hate us. If there is a way for all of us to not go to Hell and you know and you aren’t saying anything! You must really hate us.”

Well that is like a slap in the face. A very needed slap but a slap none the less. Truth is I don’t hate you!

I know that the majority of those that read this blog, although there are few in total, the majority are Christians already, or at very least putting up a very good facade. So for you this seems to be a little unneeded but well it’s not for you and I’m feeling really good about that now.

I am not perfect and I do not have all of this life and how to follow Christ best figured out but I can tell you this with absolute certainty, the only thing that brings on-going, hope, love and life is Jesus Christ’s death on the cross and his resurrection.

When I was younger I spent a little bit of time wrestling with this and whether I was willing to truly give up parts of my life for him and the life that he’s asking of me. Some of you that may be reading this are witness to those times of being unsure.

The times that I was smoking with some of you when I was 15 and wanting so badly to be accepted. The funny thing is I hear years later that some of you were trying to be seen as cool in front of me! Wow sorry to say this but we are all idiots. The times I would hang at scummy’s house (if your from wawota you know, otherwise it’s a friend) watching 30 people getting drunk. I didn’t know what I wanted.

I know that I didn’t want to be the church kid that gets picked on and made fun of. This might sound dumb but I wish so badly that I had been that kid. Someone that was willing to truly stand up for what they believe in no matter what.

I wish.

Growing up I knew that deep inside of me there was more. Way more than what I was doing and who I was being. Please don’t hear me judging you if you are still drinking and smoking or more. I have no right to judge. I still have things in my life too, and I’ve been there and I know what you’re feeling, at least some of you.

Some of you hate yourselves, and some of you love yourselves.

Some of you have an amazing life, and wouldn’t trade it for the world. Some feel like they would do anything to have someone else’s life.

I know that so many of you are all at different points in life. You’ve found someone to live life with, that you love. Some of you are desperately looking for someone to find love with because you believe that it will fill a void.

That love you have found           will not fill the void.

That love you have not found    cannot fill that void.

I’m married and honestly I can say that I love my wife a million times more now six years into marriage than I did they day we got married. There is no person that comes before her in my life. Everyone takes a backseat to her. But she cannot meet every need. She cannot make me feel complete, just as I cannot do the same for her. Sometimes I put that burden on her, but I am always disappointed. Not because she fails but because I have have failed by putting my hope in her and I have no right to expect that of her.

I write all of this not to convince you because I don’t want that at all.

God is not the latest fix all. Actually you will still have problems when you live life with him because we all screw up, we all sin. I’m uncluded in that. There is something that God does not take away from you even when you want to live life with him…

Choice.

He will not force you and he does not want you to pretend. He wants you to use that thing he has given you.

Choice.

It says in the bible that he would rather you be Hot or Cold. Luke Warm is a bad thing. I was Luke Warm for a long time and I’m sorry to say that I think that if I’ve been close to you in the past and you’re hearing this for the first time. It’s exactly that reasoning. I’ve been luke warm.

If you are reading this and are not already living a life with Christ or you are not a ‘Christian’ I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve been to scared. To lazy or to prideful, thinking about myself and my feelings above yours.

I’m sorry.

I know that I cannot do justice of giving the message of Jesus Christ right now over this blog but know that if we ever get a chance to talk, or you ever email me, or you happen to run into me in the mall after reading this. I want to talk about this. I want to know how you are doing. If you are a part of my life I care about how you are doing.

Also, I realize this is a very impersonal way of saying something very personal, but alas I don’t see all of you often and some of you I haven’t seen for years. None the less I do honestly think about how you are and whether you are ok.

Let me know, email, text, phone, coffee or lunch. However we can connect I want to.

I need to tell you something that is said so much that it often loses all meaning and becomes something of frustration to hear. But I will say it again, and this time I pray you really hear it.

God loves you. He would not have died for you, or suffered for you, or done anything for you if it was not true. But he did do all those things. He became a man, and allowed those that he created to abuse, and torture and kill him so that you could live with him. He loves you, and for what it’s worth so do I.

Thank guys I hope you really read this.

Rob

Relapse

Well I’m writing something that seems a little unimportant for some. Well maybe not.

I heard today that a guy by the name of Josh Hamilton who is a professional baseball player and born-again Christian had a relapse into alcohol this past winter.

I feel bad, not because I thought that he was perfect or that he would never give into temptation again but because it makes me think about a bigger problem.

In this case he said that the next day he told his wife and his employers what had happened with him.

Here it sounds like he is being accountable to his wife and his employers. But for so many we have these struggles or addictions that can continue to beat us down and we have no one to hold us accountable.

I truly believe that we all have things that entangle us at least from time to time. For some it’s a substance of some sort. For some it’s pornography, or sex. For some it’s some form of media like TV, movies or mags which all could be linked to the pornography. Maybe it’s food, or exercise. Almost anything can be there for us in a superficial but void filling way.

I use to think that accountability was something that needed to find me out. It was something that I needed to have but I wanted someone to come to me and always be asking me how I’m doing and making sure they are hounding me.

Although I believe that is still true, it’s only half true. We really need to seek out Godly leaders to help lead us to Christ and have been an example of victory in whatever area we are relapsing in.

I for one don’t mind people knowing my garbage. I don’t like when people can look deep into my life and see the dark places but I do love being open and I have am usually ok with telling people where I struggle most; but I don’t want to be accountable to people and be filling people in on my constant relapsing.

I hope that Josh has someone that he is truly accountable with. Someone who has gone before him in their walk with the Father and has failed and allowed the grace of God to pour over them and is lifted up to continue that walk. I hope that he didn’t hear “thanks for letting me know” but instead he heard loving voices asking”what lead you there?”. I hope he has true accountability.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 – Two are better than one, because they have good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

“Confession of sin and repentance should be celebrated” a friend once said. We don’t celebrate or lift up the sin but instead the allowance of God’s grace to come and wash us clean needs to be celebrated because it’s God’s gift and that gift should be celebrated.

Relapses happen…

What you do after matters. I hope and pray you have people around you that love and support you and can lift you up in the midst of it all.

Later,

Business…

Well I haven’t been here for a while.

When I started posting again I said to myself I wanted to make sure that I was posting at least every couple days…

It helps me to sit down and process what has been going on over the past days and gets me in the habit of keeping some level of discipline.

Alas it’s been many days since my last post

Well I feel a little behind on the inner focus also. I’ve let business and often times laziness get the best of me. I am right now trying to even remember what’s been happening these past few weeks and it’s all a little fuzzy.

I am not tired. I am not, at least right now being lazy, but I am hard pressed to find a relaxing in my spirit.

I have had many heavy things weighing in on my mind recently. Not bad heavy but heavy doctrinal things. Especially when it comes to the doctrine of adoption.

Here is a little note that I read from a preach by C.J. Mahaney that I thought was really good hope you like it.

… Notice God’s purpose was both to redeem and toadopt — “to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receiveadoption as sons” (v. 5).

I’m sure you will agree that redeeming us from slavery to sin and the penalty of sin would have been sufficiently astounding. But God’s purpose did not conclude with redemption, it culminated with adoption. He made slaves into sons through the death of His Son. And here in this phrase, and this passage, we encounter the deepest insights into the greatness of God’s love!

Now, historically in Covenant Life Church and Sovereign Grace Ministries, we have taught more on the doctrine of justification than we have on adoption. I don’t think we should ever teach less on the doctrine of justification. I do think we should teach more on the doctrine of adoption. Actually, the doctrine of justification must always remain primary because all saving benefits depend on justification by faith alone, through grace alone, in Christ alone. One can’t understand adoption apart from justification. Adoption depends on justification. Grasping justification positions us to fully appreciate adoption.

There are those who speak about the Fatherhood of God without reference to the Cross or the doctrine of justification. We cannot, we should not, and we must not, speak of the Fatherhood of God apart from the Cross and apart from the doctrine of justification.

So with those qualifying remarks let us distinguish between justification and adoption without separating justification and adoption. Let’s distinguish between them because they are not the same thing.

Understanding the differences is of critical importance to experiencing adoption. Dr. J.I. Packer helps us understand the difference and has written the following helpful remarks:

“That justification – by which we mean God’s forgiveness of the past, together with his acceptance for the future – is theprimary and fundamental blessing of the gospel is not in question. Justification is the primary blessing, because it meets our primary spiritual need. We all stand by nature under God’s judgment; his law condemns us; guilt gnaws at us, making us restless, miserable, and in our lucid moments afraid; we have no peace in ourselves because we have no peace with our Maker. So we need the forgiveness of our sins, and assurance of a restored relationship with God, more than we need anything else in the world; and this the gospel offers us before it offers us anything else. … But contrast this, now, with adoption. Adoption is a family idea, conceived in terms of love, and viewing God as father. In adoption, God takes us into his family and fellowship – he establishes us as his children and heirs. Closeness, affection and generosity are at the heart of the relationship. To be right with God the Judge is a great thing, but to be loved and cared for by God the Father is a greater” [Knowing God, pp. 206, 207].

I love that last sentence – “To be right with God the Judge is a great thing.” I just want to say it is indeed “a great thing” to be right with God the Judge through the person and work of Jesus Christ. It is “a great thing” to be forgiven of sin. It is “a great thing” to be freed from fear of future wrath. It is “a great thing” to know this day that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. It is “a great thing” to know that on the final day there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. To be right with God the Judge – that is “a great thing”!

But to be loved and cared for by God the Father is greater. Now they are inseparable. There is no greater apart from the great. The great precedes the greater. But it’s possible to understand the great and not comprehend and live in the good of the greater.

And if you are right with God the Judge — through the person and work of Jesus Christ — let me just say that is a “great thing”! But as incomprehensible as it is, there is something greater. The greater is to be loved and cared for by God the Father. That’s the greater. This is part of Paul’s burden in this passage, that we not only experience the great (“redeemed”) but the greater (“adoption”).

Do the words closeness, affection, and generosity describe your perception and experience of God? Do they? If not, perhaps you are more aware of your sin than you are the adopting grace of God.

In order to experience more of the love of God, the affection of God, the closeness of God, the generosity of God, I want to recommend that for a season you study the doctrine of adoption until you are assured and secure in the love of God. If you are unfamiliar with the gift of adoption, I want to encourage you to restrict your spiritual diet (if necessary and for a season) to this topic so that you might experience the greatness of God’s love. If you are a Christian and you are not convinced of God’s love for you then I would recommend you confine yourself to this topic. Confine yourself to your study to this passage and other passages that reference adoption. Confine yourself for a season of time to the study of the doctrine of adoption. Immerse yourself in extended study.

– C.J. Mahaney, sermon, “God as Father: Understanding the Doctrine of Adoption” (Dec. 2, 2007) 34:08-41:35.

Later,

Joys of Fatherhood

Well it’s 1:34 am and I am still awake.

That is a rare thing.

I am normally passed out and well into deep sleep by now but alas as soon as I was falling asleep tonight Elin awoke!

It was the usual crying in her bed waiting only for the touch of a bottle or cup filled with milk to her lips. Tonight she was especially tired and thirsty. This is usually a bad combination.

She will scream and cry when her milk is done although it has taken her 20 minutes to drink it because she is falling asleep. So she needs to go to sleep because she’s over tired but she still wants more milk.

Like I said, bad combination…

I have just learned a new technique thought. I tell her I will go and get he more milk and that she just has to lay down while I go get it. She’s a reasonable little girl and that is a reasonable request so she falls for it hook line and sinker. I come back with the Milk and she’s fast asleep.

What a sucker…

Because it was so dark though I couldn’t really tell if she was asleep or not but quickly found out she was out cold and wanted nothing to do  with more milk. She was startled by me being in the room again so I rubbed her back to settle her down.

I love these moments.

They don’t happen often with this girl. She is a wrestler and a joker. Always up to something and often it is not good, so to sit by her listen to her breathe heavy as I rub her back till she is out is something I savour.

I love being a Dad.

Honestly.

With everything that is a stress, it all melts away with one moment like that.

I know that is not always the case but often when life slows down and everything begins to quiet down a moment with one of the kids is something that is never forgotten. I have memories like that with Ephram and I will always love those, but the joy comes in being able to make more memories like that everyday.

Sometimes I’m really bad at that, slowing down enough to have those moments with them. But I’m learning and it’s so exciting.

In the midst of all of this I’m reminded that everything I’m feeling and experiencing I have a Father that feels that and so much more for me.

I’m learning the joys of fatherhood and experiencing the joy of sonship…

and if that isn’t enough they’re happening at the same time.

love it…

Later,

Go to sleep

pride fail

I was witness to loss of pride, over and over and over again this morning. I was able to actually witness countenance in peoples faces change. Some went from strut with nose high to face downcast to the floor. What was all of this over?

A locked door.

Some of you may actually already know what I’m talking about. This has been an ongoing topic of laughter and frustration for some friends and I. The right hand door at Starbucks. for some reason it always seems to be locked, well maybe not always but I’d say 50% of the time. Not the point but kind of funny.

The point of this is the loss of pride and self worth. I will freely admit I’m in on this. I have been leaving bucks confident in myself but when I hit that door… Confidence gone.

It amazes me how we place our confidence in futile and regrettable things. Starbucks is good for this one. It gets all kinds of people but it is often groups of people that have a image to live up to. One that does not need running into a locked door to fulfill it.

There is continually something that gets brought into my mind of late. Who are we really?

I’m slowing figuring that out. But alas it is very slow.

The door…

The door is a very good reminder of who we are not.

It’s a very good reminder of what we have made ourselves into and how we are not that person.

Isn’t it sad to live in a world where we show people, teach them, mentor them into how to live lies and pride.

I don’t have it all together. I like to think about having it all together and not having stress or harships to work through but I do have all those things.

I think we are suppose to.

I think the door is put there. It’s locked on purpose.

If the door was never locked…

If nothing ever took work…

If it was always handed to us… we would become rich & fat (hypothetic terms) and we would forget.

I think that God talks too much about how the fat and rich people of this world are lost for it to be something that should just be looked past.

Don’t get me wrong, we often live in the midst of things that we don’t need to. If your hardship is sin, that is not from God. Know that. He does not call you to sin, nor does he put anything before you to cause you to sin. Although he does allow things to be placed before you to show you his joy through suffering and stress.

If you are having a hard time, and feel beat up… Dig in.

Please

He is there, he isn’t on the other side. He’s there. He may be waiting for you to get to the other side to pour out though.

A man that I barely know but respect as much as anyone I have ever met once told me of a time he went 12 years without God’s presence evident in his life.

That I cannot imagine, but imagine the feeling the first time he began to pour out that presence again!

Sinking in the ocean of his grace. Burn into my heart LORD your grace that it cannot be taken from before my eyes.

Do not let your pride bring your face to the floor, but let the LORD bring his humility and peace to you so that you walk in reverence of him and courage to take the world.

-

-

I wrote this over the span of a week sorry if it’s a little all over the place.

Later,

wrestling

Well although I want to relive my past life as a true wrestling fan this is unfortunately not what I’m talking about in this post.

Do you wrestle with anything?

I’ve been wrestling with some things from the word recently that I can’t seem to nail down exactly what it truth.

Sarah’s answer is usually both, ok it’s always both.

Where do you find rest when you’re wrestling? It’s good wrestling, wrestling that I want to do. Wrestling that can only bring me closer to God and his truth of who I am.

So alas I cannot give up on the wrestling, it makes me want it all the more.

Maybe your wrestling isn’t really like that. Maybe it isn’t about something eternal or even really important. But doesn’t it seem important at the time?

I sometimes really struggle with being argumentative, which again in a preemptive strike my wife would love to agree with.

I wrestle with things that are not necessary, things that leave me no further in who I am or what matters most. Things like who’s better Federer or Nadal, which is clearly Federer but that is not the point.

In the end, it always comes to pass how pointless this wrestling was. It exerted energy and usually bodily fluid that doesn’t smell very good… sweat, and it gets us nowhere.

I would love to be a wrestler. Someone like Jacob.

I saw a painting once of a representation of what it was like when Jacob would have wrestled the angel. It makes me laugh a little because I think that it would have looked ridiculous, like the painting portrayed it. I mean Jacob wouldn’t have even had a chance of defeating this angel, and for sure Jacob would have known that. But this isn’t the point, the point was he wasn’t going to just let this opportunity pass him by.

Jacob grabbed a hold and held on for dear life… literally.

You might think this is a little far to take it when I’m talking about a Doctrine. But I want to know God more than anything and I can’t believe that all of these things would have been written of and given to us to lead us in his direction just to have him decide one day uhh that is all pointless now so you have to do it all on your own.

The churches relied heavily on the apostles teaching. They devoted themselves to it. I want to do the same.

If I need to wrestle an angel to get to God, then watch out cause I’m coming with everything that this out of shape body can throw.

I’ve been appathetic and lathargic and non-commital for to long and no longer will I live in these states of being.

Instead I will wrestle and fight and read and write and worship and bow, over and over and over again.

I need him, I need his grace which he has been freely given me. I need his peace which he also gives freely. I cannot work these things into my life. I could give myself false hope but I better have a long list of things to hope in because they will all disappoint.

Romans 5:3-5

³ Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

And again as I already talked about a couple posts ago:

1Peter 1:13

¹³ Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.

I will wrestle to understand your grace my God because it is upon it that I can place my hope, and it is within this hope that I will not be disappointed.

That is my prayer.

Happy Wrestling,

Later,

social gospel

I am consistently perplexed when it comes to these words. I am this only because of the negative spin that is placed on this.

I know that the social gospel movement was one that came about in the early-mid 19th century, at least as far as the ‘movement’ goes.

I also know and agree that a lot of what they were teaching was pushing the line. For instance, when it came to the Jesus wants you to shower stuff… please shower but I’m not sure that Jesus is asking you to, at least not all the time?

Anyways that was a pointless rant, the meaning of the argument seems to be just as pointless though.

It feels as though Social Gospel is spoken of by many that have no idea what it actually is. But that again isn’t the point I’m trying to make.

What I’m trying to say is I believe that the Gospel is all encompassing. Jesus Christ and what he did was done on a scale far greater than I believe we could imagine. The word is clear of the hope that we are to have.

I don’t like the words Social Gospel as if the Gospel can be one thing or another.

But I do like and believe that the Gospel can be applied to social issues, or any other type of issues. It’s not that Jesus spoke specifically about every single thing in this earth but i believe that the implications of such things or the outcomes or the life we live in the midst of these things have all been touched on by Christ himself.

Applying the Gospel to social issues and hearing the words of the NT writers saying to take care of the widows and orphans or feed the hungry. These would be called social issues so are you speaking the social Gospel when you speak of these?

I would think that you are applying the Gospel to this world and showing the hope of Jesus Christ to the world and all those that stand in need and hopelessness.

I don’t know it seems like a moot point, one that I wish didn’t even needed talked about but I have grown tired of reading and hearing of the evil of the social gospel.

Let’s instead speak of the hope and life of the true Gospel.

Later,

Grace pt 1

1 Peter 1:13 – Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

In the acceptance of this grace we are called to the death and new life that Jesus encountered. We are now called in Romans 6:11 to consider ourselves dead to sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus.

In that same grace and life that we are called to walk we are called again in Romans 8:17 to take part in Christ’s suffering, and to be glorified with him.

To be glorified in his resurrection, and to live through him (Christ) as a son of the almighty.

Heirs in a kingdom that we have no right, given to a treasure that we worked to destroy…

Here is grace crying out to me, here is grace speaking my name.

With a blood strewn cross before me, with a nail-pieces hand, a spear injected side and a skull bitten by thorns, what can I do but fall to my knees.

For me it is no choice…